There are memoirists who have known in their bones since childhood that they are, in fact, writers.
And then there are everyday folks for whom writing is not in their wheelhouse, but who have stories to tell and an urge to document them. Does that describe you?
Those stories—your stories—matter, and should indeed be captured in a memoir. Yes, even if you are not a writer.
3 Steps to Capturing Your Life Stories
Step One: Decide on a focus.
What parts of your life are most memorable? Which experiences hold the most compelling stories and lessons? Are there decisions which impacted the entirety of your life? Moments of revelation or transition?
It’s important to understand that we’re not undertaking to write a full-fledged, chronological account of your life. Memoir distinguishes itself from autobiography by honing in on a chapter or a theme from your life, and the most successful memoirs are clear on that vision from the outset.
Here are a few ideas to jump-start your own brainstorming:
• My years in the military
• How I met my partner
• The transformative experience of becoming a parent
• Why my career mattered to me
• How my spirituality has shaped my life
• “After my mom died, everything changed”
• Coming of age in the sixties
• The path not taken
• Sunday dinners at Nonna’s: How this longstanding tradition shaped my own approach to family
Whether you decide to focus on a chapter from your life defined by a specific time period or an overarching theme that has been woven throughout the fabric of your life, deciding upon this direction early on will help you take the next steps most efficiently.
Jot down a bunch of ideas over a few days. Talk with siblings or friends about your undertaking. Flip through old family photo albums. All of these things will get your creative juices flowing and start you on the path of remembering.
Step Two: Begin sharing your stories.
Don’t worry, I am not suggesting you grab a pen and paper or sit in front of a blank computer screen waiting for inspiration. Rather, I am suggesting you talk.
Make a list of conversation starters that derive from your memoir topic and dive in. Activate the voice recorder on your smart phone or use a digital audio recorder to capture your voice.
A few tips to get you going:
Don’t put pressure on yourself to sound smart or construct a “well-written” story. Just share your memories—laugh at the funny bits, include peripheral information if you feel the urge, retread the same information if new layers of memory come to you. This is about collecting your stories, not editing them.
Construct your conversation starters with intention: As questions that lead you down a particular path of experience; include details that will jog your sensory memories even more; and make notes to include details, emotions, and lessons—things that ground your story and give it relevance for future readers.
Consider recruiting a close friend or family member to ask your questions and work the recording device. Even more than providing a helping hand, having a willing and open-hearted listener across the table from you can make sharing stories easier and more enjoyable.
Make a loose schedule of times you will record your stories. Without a goal it’s unlikely you will honor your commitment to finish your memoir. Figure on one- to two-hour increments for story sharing sessions.
Step Three: Preserve your personal history.
First, congratulate yourself: The critical part is DONE! You have preserved your stories! These recordings exist and can be accessed by the next generation.
To ensure that the recordings do in fact live on, make digital copies of the recordings and share them with family members. Then:
Transcribe the recordings so your stories live on paper. There are plenty of affordable transcription services online, such as rev.com and otter.ai, or hire a local individual.
Label your voice recordings according to content, and write a table of contents so particular stories can be found with relative ease.
From Voice Recordings to Memoir
You have ensured that your stories are preserved, but what if you could also ensure that they don’t sit in a family archive somewhere, forgotten and unheard?
Consider working with a professional personal historian to help you edit your words and turn them into an engaging book.
An editor will find the narrative arc in your oral history, add photographs, captions, graphic quotes, chapter titles, and all the elements that make diving into your stories palatable and fun. An experienced personal historian will maintain your voice while polishing presentation; will design a book that your children and grandchildren will eagerly crack open, inviting even more story sharing!
If you can’t afford a professional editor or prefer to go the DIY route, please still do something to make your personal history easier to engage with—add photos, chapter titles, and a table of contents at minimum. (Imagine being given a thumb drive of recordings or 200 pages of typewritten conversation—it’d likely feel more like homework than a gift, no?!)
Please reach out with any questions about how to proceed crafting your own hand-bound personal history, or to see how we can work together to bring your memoir to life in a beautiful heirloom book.
And congratulations—whichever step in the process you are on, you are moving in the right direction!
Dawn Roode, a personal historian based in northern New Jersey, helps families and family-run businesses preserve their legacies in bespoke coffee table books.