So you want to write your story, but you’re not a writer? First, congratulations on taking the first steps, even if that’s just considering your options and doing a little research. Second, take heart: The hardest part is often getting started (once you’re committed to telling your stories in some way, the process tends to flow and become rewarding enough to keep at it!).
Here are three basic approaches you can take to ensuring your life stories are told and preserved for the next generation, even if you do not consider yourself a writer.
1 - Write your story anyway.
If you can get past the fear of putting pen to paper and find a way to “just do it,” then this option might be for you.
Who it’s best for:
Someone who feels a sense of urgency to tell their story and/or who doesn’t put a premium on presentation
If the fact of telling your story trumps the way your story is told, then there are plenty of resources to help you move forward. Writing prompts, autobiographical journals, and reminiscence groups will motivate reluctant writers and provide inspiration for telling your stories.
The end result:
Your stories might live in a store-bought journal where you’ve answered just half the questions, but that’s okay: It’s not about how the journal looks, but that your descendants will be able to flip to those pages that are complete and “listen in” on your memories. Alternatively, you may have 100 typewritten pages fastened with a binder clip. The point is, it doesn’t matter how it looks or feels, but that it exists—that it is accessible to the next generation.
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2 - Talk about your stories instead.
Maybe writing feels too much like homework, or the pressure you feel to be “writerly” overwhelms you. Instead of staring at a blank piece of paper or laptop screen indefinitely, take an entirely different approach: Tell your stories out loud.
All it takes is a handheld recorder or a recording app on your smart phone or tablet, and a willingness to set aside some time to get lost in your memories.
Who it’s best for:
Someone who feels more comfortable speaking than writing and/or who wants to preserve their voice as part of their family archive.
The end result:
Most people who choose voice recording eventually have those recordings transcribed so that they have a written record of their memories; in this case, you may choose to simply save the typewritten document as is, or you may opt to add photographs and have it designed into a more professional, archival book.
Other people choose to merely safeguard the voice recordings for the next generation (in which case I would recommend making digital copies of them that can be stored in multiple places for redundancy). A personal historian who specializes in audio histories could also be hired to break the audio into narrative chapters and edit the whole story into something much more palatable for the next generation to listen to.
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Oral history questions:
While most oral history questions are designed to be asked of a family member as part of an interview, they can also be used effectively as prompts for your own story sharing. Explore questions designed to ask your parents or grandparents, and consider incorporating questions about specific themes such as Thanksgiving or Christmas.Book designers:
Send a query to the Biographers Guild and specifically ask for a book designer; someone will get back to you promptly.
3 - Work with a personal historian to craft your life story.
Sometimes personal historians are approached to add their expertise to a project that has already been begun after an individual realizes they have bit off more than they can chew—however, there is real wisdom in working with a personal historian from the outset.
A personal historian (also called a biographer or ghostwriter) brings years of experience in guiding life storytelling and shaping your stories into a compelling narrative. Moreover, there is power in having an invested and generous listener to receive your stories.
Who it’s best for:
Someone who wants to tell their stories but still have the finished product read like a well-written narrative; someone who needs structure and guidance to bring such a project to fruition.
The end result:
Personal historians usually specialize in one of three media: printed books, audio stories, or video biographies. If you know which you prefer, then you should choose a personal historian based on their specific expertise.
If you are unsure, I always say that having a strong connection with your personal historian—who will be interviewing you on intimate memories and stories you hold dear—is essential. So “meet” with a few, even if it’s just over the phone, to see if a rapport and trust can be established. This will ensure that the story sharing process will be both enjoyable and fruitful.
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Which of these scenarios best describes you?
Whatever approach you choose, we implore you to “just do it”—your stories matter, and capturing them for your loved ones is an endeavor well worth taking. Happy story sharing!
Dawn Roode, a personal historian based in northern New Jersey, helps families and family-run businesses preserve their legacies in bespoke coffee table books.