How many of you know when your parents had their first date? Or their first kiss? How about the first time they had sex? Stop! Too much information! But that’s what I found out when I discovered a stack of letters written by my mom to my granny.
The letters surfaced years after both my parents and grandparents had passed. I am pretty confident that my mother would have destroyed them had she known they existed. (PRO TIP: If you have items you don’t want other people to see when you’re gone, let this be your warning—throw them away now.) In any event, there they were, an inch-thick stack of handwritten letters.
The handwriting alone conjures up strong emotions. I know my mother’s handwriting like I know my own name. Just seeing it causes me to hear my mom’s voice. It’s as loud and clear as if she were standing next to me. My mom was in no way important to history, but she was critically important to me. Preserving these letters became a no-brainer.
Letters are a snapshot in time
Here was the chronicle of her carefree days as a young, sexually liberated, French graduate student on an American college campus in the late ’60s. The first letter was about her arrival at school. In the next one, she found an apartment and roommate. Before you knew it, it happened: She met my dad. It didn’t sound like any lightening bolt struck her. He, however, began pursuing her immediately. The rest is (family) history.
Once I got over the “ick” factor of knowing my mom’s love life, and the shock that she would share so many explicit details with Granny, I absolutely loved reading these. It was the first time I ever felt like I could relate to Mom as a peer. She worried about her weight and reported pounds added or lost at every writing. I watched my parents’ relationship grow, and even witnessed my own birth. Turns out I wasn’t as delightful an infant as I had been told! I observed her arguing with Granny, worrying about money, and later, advancing in her career.
A book of correspondence for a client
Having experienced my mother’s letters inspired an equally meaningful project for a client. The client unexpectedly received a stack of letters from a friend of her deceased parents. Since any story is made better with images (just as any image is made better with a story), we decided to produce a book in which photos matched up to what was in the letters. The client’s mother talked about the death of the family dog and training its replacement; here’s a photo of the puppy. The father published a book; here’s a photo of the book party. And so on for twenty years’ worth of correspondence.
The client and her siblings had many of the reactions I did. They followed their parents’ lives and matched that against their own memories. As adults, they related to parenting decisions they were oblivious to as kids. Since they were orphaned at a young age, this book was also a way to remind themselves of shared experiences, and of the powerful bond of family.
That’s why these books matter. They give people the opportunity to focus on life’s best gifts: love and family.
What to do with your family correspondence letters
Correspondence comes in many forms. It’s a catch-all phrase I use for items such as:
Multi-page missives
Short letters and notes
Cards (holiday, birthday, etc.)
Invitations and announcements (birth, marriage, etc.)
Postcards
Most people want to preserve family correspondence in some way. This can be done though traditionally archiving, digital archiving, or both.
Safeguard your letters
Do you have any correspondence with news clippings attached? Unfortunately, aging newspaper can leave marks on the letters they are adhered to. You’ll be well served to remove the newspaper from the letter and store it separately. The glue on envelope flaps can be damaging, as well, so make sure letters are kept away from them.
Traditional preservation focuses on housing your materials in the appropriate acid-free archival folders and boxes that help ensure that the materials themselves last as long as possible. An industry leader in the production and sale of these materials is Gaylord, and their customer service staff is friendly to non-professionals. If you feel you need to speak with an actual archivist, someone at a local public library may be able to help.
Another option is to digitize your correspondence. The benefit of digitization is that you will have access to your collection in a format that lends itself to being shared very easily. Our members page has several professionals who can advise you on the digitization process.
From curation to precious gift
Once your letters are digitized you will be in a position to contemplate publishing a book of letters. As mentioned earlier, a book of correspondence is a meaningful way to put a person’s life in context for future generations. Adding a timeline, photos, an introduction, and explanatory notes makes the book all the more special.
Through this process you will become the curator of a particular collection in your family’s history. It is one of the precious activities that gives as much satisfaction to the giver as it does to the recipient.
If you would like to speak to someone about what is involved in creating a book of correspondence, any number of our members can advise you on book production. Or, feel free to reach out to us for a recommendation regarding your particular needs.
Clémence Scouten, based in the Philadelphia area, helps people curate and preserve their family history stories and materials, providing an array of end products from archived collections to memoirs.